Tuesday, June 9, 2015

I got another mom !

In the name of ALLAH

 Last week I met my new mom. My another step-mother. Ah~~I just can't accept her. It's happened last week when my family went to Terengganu for wedding of my beloved brother. I know that she would come too and at first I didn't mind. Just then in Terengganu, I met her for the first time.

 "Fatin, tadi abah call kakak. Abah ajak Atin naik dengan abah."

"Abah datang rumah sini?"

"Kalau abah datang sini, Fatin nak naik dengan abah?"
I'm hesitate.I know she will there and I don't want to but I said,


And so there. When I'm riding with abah, I met her! At the back seat, my tears drop silently and quickly I  wiping it. I recall the memories when for the first time I met my previous step-mother. She's died in accident. I don't feel anything but happy because I got a new mother. I really missssing her so much. In the car, I though "she is the best step-mother in the world"

 During the way, I'm holding back my tears. Just how many mother I would have?

She invited me going to Klang for holidays. I want to go and stay with abah again. But you know, I can't bear with her even an hour, how come I can stay Klang for days? So, I refused. 

It's getting my nerve when seeing my siblings getting along well with her. Well I'm always left alone. Ahhh I'm so upsettt.

I'm actually someone who know to take care of my attitude with strangers but with her I'm somehow throwing tantrums. Sorry. 

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Time flies

In the name of ALLAH

This is good time for writing.
Alone. Music. Silent. Feeling.


I'm loner.

This week I'm sitting for an exam. And I'm not ready. Not yet. Betullah masa tak menunggu kita kan.

Everything somehow changed to me. I know what. And really miss it. Miss something missing. Maybe because time goes by. Faster.

Hahahaha what happen to me?  I'm happpy!!!

Stop it. Good bye.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Aku seorang manusia (random title)

In th name of ALLAH 

Yes today I'm willing to write again.
Today I learn how to appreciate things in our life. Semua yang ada dalam hidup kita adalah nikmat daripada pencipta Yang Maha Agung. Namun manusia sifatnya lupa. Lupa nak besyukur dengan nikmat yang Allah bagi. Lupa nak ucap Alhamdullilah dan kadang-kadang lalai dalam dunia sampai terlupa nak tunaikan tanggungjawab kita. Leka dan hanyut.

Aku juga manusia. Tidak lepas daripada melakukan kesilapan dan kekhilafan. Setiap saat nikmat yang Allah kurniakan, aku lupa nak hargai dan bersyukur. Dan apabila nikmat tu dah hilang dari genggaman, mula lah diri sendiri tersedar dan kembali kepadaNya. Refers Al-quran again and prostration to Him.

Aku suka menulis. Aku rajin menulis. Sebab dengan menulis aku dapat luahkan apa yang aku rasa. Aku dapat create story dan share with others.

Tipu kalau aku kata yang I don't need anyone in my life to share my sadness. Because I do need one. Yes I have many friends and I love them. But I choose to not tell anyone than knowing they didnt care. Didnt really understand about my problem. Maybe I over-thinking about that.

I express my feeling through writing. I never get bored of that. Dan sejujurnya, lepas menulis I'm feeling more better. It's feel like I was confess to someone.

Pernah tak sesiapa terfikir "What should I do with my life?" "What I would be when I'm truly grow-up?" "Boleh ke saye jadi manusia yang berguna dan berjasa kepada orang lain?" Pernah terfikir begitu? Actually I think that like everyday and honestly I become stress. Seriously aku nak jadi someone yang dapat bagi something for negara.  Like seriously! When I learn tentang sejarah tamadun, orang pertama yang mengkaji zarah atom, orang pertama terbang (Ibnu Firnas)  I admit they are great persons. I want to be like that. Maybe I can be a writer who can give benefits to others?

Nowaday, peoples keep complains and criticize. If ada benda yang salah sikit, terus nak lemparkan kata-kata yang offensive. Mentality rakyat Malaysia yang suka komplen dan komplen? Everyhing happen have their own positive side so why not we see in that side. Dan kita sama-sama lah baiki apa yang kurang. 

Tak salah kalau nak bagi pendapat. Berkongsi pendapat itu bagus dan amat digalakkan right? You know that... .

And one thing,  peoples kalau nak menegur memang cannot any gentle. Ayat tu  seolah-olah cuba nak membunuh dari dalam. To me, kalau kita menegur secara lemah lembut dan berhikmah, bukan ke seseorang tu lebih terkesan dan jadi lembut hati. Even Rasullullah pun bagi pendekatan yang baik dan seiring dengan akhlak yang baik.
 "Hai orang-orang yang beriman, janganlah kamu meninggikan suaramu melebihi suara Nabi, dan janganlah kamu berkata kepadanya dengan suara yang keras, sebagaimana kerasnya suara sebagian kamu terhadap sebagian yang lain, supaya tidak hapus (pahala) amalanmu, sedangkan kamu tidak menyadari."      [Al Hujuraat 49:2]
 Meninggikan suara lebih dari suara Nabi atau bicara keras terhadap Nabi adalah suatu perbuatan yang menyakiti Nabi. Karena itu terlarang melakukannya dan menyebabkan hapusnya amal perbuatan.

I'm not good peson too. Kadang-kadang, I always did something that make peoples hurt or offense without any intention. It's actually come automatically and after that I'm realized that I'm wrong.  Like peoples know, when we are mad tired, hungry stress we can't think properly.
"Orang-orang beriman itu sesungguhnya bersaudara. Sebab itu damaikanlah (perbaikilah hubungan) antara kedua saudaramu itu dan takutlah terhadap Allah, supaya kamu mendapat rahmat".         [Al Hujuraat 49:10]   

Friday, February 27, 2015

Chimney Sweeper

With the name of ALLAH....

 Okay, first of all did you know what's the mean of chimney? Dalam bahasa melayunya bermaksud serombong. Normally they build this in country which face a 4 season. As you know when the winter came, they would flame the fire to warm their bodies and making the smoke existed. The function of the chimney is to getting out the smoke throught it. But gradually, there would be the soots in the chimney.

 During 1700's and 1800's in England, this is why chimney sweeeper needed. For clear the soots so it didnt become solid and close the hole later. The sad thing is all the sweeper was amongst children between 5 and 10 years old and even younger is four. This is because their small bodies to get through in the narrow chimney.  The owner of the building usually hired those children who was orphans or having a poor life. Okay now you think how hard for them to climbing for it in this such ages. They climbed it without any tools to use and it makes them always left injured. Yes it was very dangerous for peoples and not to say  for kids. Isnt it was so cruel and brutal?

Everyday, they would enter the narrow chimney using their small body. For your more information, there are many risks for them such as respiratory illnesses, getting stuck in the hole,  choke and suffocated to death and so on. There rarely take a bath and okay, this is very sad story for me. For more information, here (http://www.wellerschimneysweeps.com)

To add for my sadness, the poem that created by William Blake, "The Chimney Sweeper"

When my mother died I was very young,
And my father sold me while yet my tougue
Could scarcely cry "weep! weep! weep! weep!"
So your chimney I sweep and in soot I sleep.

There's little Tom Dacre, who cried when his head
That curled likea lamb's back, was shaved, so I said,
"Hush, Tom! never mind it, for when your head's bare,
You know that the soot cannot spoil your white hair."

And so he waas quiet, and that very night,
As Tom was a sleeping he had such a sight!
That thousands of sweeper, Dick, Joe, Ned & Jack,
Were all of them locked up in coffins of black,

And by came an Angel who had a bright key,
And he opened the coffins and set them all free,
Then down a green plain, leaping laughing they run,
And wash in a river and shine in the sun,

They naked and white, all their bags left behind,
They rise upon clouds, and sport in the wind,
And the Angel told Tom, if he'd be a good boy,
He'd have God for his father and never want joy.

And so Tom awoke, and we rose in the dark,
And got woth our bags and our brushes to work,
Though the morning was cold, Tom was happy and warm,
So if all do their duty, they need not fear harm.
(For details about this poem, http://www.gradesaver.com/songs-of-innocence-and-of-experience/study-guide/summary-the-chimney-sweeper-songs-of-innocence)

But in 1864, the law was enforced to not use children as chimney sweeper anymore. This is to protect them to being victims of these unjustice. For those who breaking the laws they need to pay penalty. After of this law has make, Joseph Glass from Briston, England have created a new brush to clear the chimney more easier and use till today :)))

"Maka pernahkah kamu melihat orang yang menjadikan hawa nafsunya sebagai tuhannya dan Allah membiarkannya berdasarkan ilmu-Nya dan Allah telah mengunci mati pendengaran dan hatinya dan meletakkan tutupan atas penglihatannya? Maka siapakah yang akan memberinya petunjuk sesudah Allah (membiarkannya sesat). Maka mengapa kamu tidak mengambil pelajaran?"   {Al-Jaatsiyah 45:23}

Monday, February 23, 2015

Got unlock pattern wrong !

Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim...

 I come back! Yoshh gua rasa nak jerit kuat-kuat sebab gua stress dengan henset kawan gua ni. Duhh semalam gua pinjam dia punya henset bawa balik rumah. Tapi lupa punya pasal, gua tak mintak pattern lock tuh. Then I try over and over again. Ha tadaaa ! It says too many attempts and I need sign in with google acoount. 

  You know, the problem is even  I DEFINITELY type correctly it says 'invalid username or password'. What the.... Gua  tanya kawan gua macam mana settle balik tapi satu-satunya jalan penyelesaian yang aku ada setakat ni cuma hantar kedai untuk reset segala-galanya. Really it's driving me crazy !

  Gua kasi tahu dekat owner henset ni what did happened. And you know what her response? It's disbelieve sebab dia sungguh optimis sekali. Dia kata, mesti boleh fixed balik. Kalau tak boleh juga, hantar kedai jelah. I'm so realieved sebab tak kena marah dengan dia but at the same time gua rasa bersalah gila. Aduhai what a failure !

  So minggu ni, I'll sit the exam. Tapi sebab dugaan ni, gua tak study pun. Huh ni baru sikit punya ujian jahanam kan henset member. Kalau dugaan lagi besar mungkin gua akan goyang macam dunia ni nak terbalik.

(Mereka yang menentang Nabi Muhammad) tidak ada lagi yang mereka tunggu melainkan saat kiamat yang akan datang kepada mereka secara mengejut, dan dalam keadaaan mereka lalai leka dengan perkara-perkara keduniaan.                                        {Az-Zukhuf 43: 67}
Pada hari itu, sahabat-sahabat karib setengahnya akan menjadi musuh kepada setengahnya yang lain kecuali orang-orang yang persahabatannya berdasarkan taqwa (iman dan amal soleh)                {Az-Zukhuf 43: 67}

Friday, May 2, 2014


In the name of Allah...

I like these kind of guy I met him when I'm in standards 4. That time, I was a new student but on my first day, I already had rumored with him. So, since I enter that class, I never talk to him. Maybe felt awkward or maybe I just hate him? He really make me annoyed with his face. I totally don't like him. Fortunately, when I'm in standards 5 he was not my classmate anymore.

But unlucky to me, when I'm in standards 6, we met again in one classroom. I sat infront of him. He treat me normally like the rumor never happen before but me in other side still act coldly to him. After a few months later, Im slowly forgot the rumored and talk to him normally.

When I'm form 1, we still classmate and now I sat behind him. You know how ridiculous he was? He really make me annoyed with his silly joke. How nice I am, I'm just pretended to laugh but sometimes I just smile
because his jokes were so non-sense ( -_-) But you know, he was really a good friends. Sometimes I can't stop laugh because his foolishness. We had similar interest and we even watched same kdrama like Secret Garden and Heartstring. And start from that, I'm slowly to like him (I found myself like someone who understand me) and to be honest, I had crush on him.

He was not bad afterall. He had a white skin and good looking. What I like the most is his smile. He has a good manner but in the same time he also a bad boy one. I rarely see he laugh out loud but you know, the way he happy were definitely catch your heart. He was so kind toward  peoples (especially to me hehehe ^___^v) but he looks scary when he mad (because he did to me once)

I think I don't have a much time to continued. Later ok ^____<

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Happy new year

In the name of Allah...

Happy new year everyone. Hope you guys have good luck in this year and always being a better person than last year. Tomorrow I will start my school day. I don't know how to feel. Should I'm happy or excited or maybe sad? Hahaha confuse! And to be honest, I'm bit afraid come back to school. I don't know if I'm ready or not. I scare with judgemental people. But the things I'm sure, I really miss my friend!! Can't wait see them tomorrow. Now I realize how important them in my life. You know, without them I'm so boring and I feel depressed seriously. This holiday were so boring to me. I don't have entertainment. Especially when my house flood. That is a worst thing ever through this holiday. I even don't go for holiday. So sad, isn't it? But like they said,
 segala yang terjadi ada hikmah disebaliknya
Because of this disaster, I got help from the others party

I'm so happy got this voucher. Really Allah never stop give me His grace, Alhamdullilah. This morning I'm bought my school stuffs and now it's complete already. My stationery now complete!!

Tomorrow start my life as a student again. I hope this year I will be better. Please pray for me!