Today she ask me to help her washing ceiling fan and I refuse, I said I don't want. Why? Because I hella tired, my back pain, I had a rough week. I don't even want to do my laundry this weekend. Yes, i skip laundry this week. Both my mental and physical drowning. Pretty sure if I said I'm tired, she will not gonna take that seriously. Saying I always tired, I just give an excuse, I'm lazy.
She start to have beef with me because I don't wanna help. Again, is it wrong for me to refuse?
I want to talk about her a long time ago but I choose to keep silent because I'm trying to be patient but it seem like today is the day I will rage my anger.
Something about her, she doesn't to seem look at mirror too much. I mean she do look at mirror, always. But she doesn't seem to reflect herself. She barely to realize what people did is the reflection what she did to people. She don't like people condemned how her behave but that's what she does to me. She don't like people comment her choice, but that's what she did to people. She force me to follow where she want to go, but when it's come my turn to ask her company she give an excuse. It's okay for her to refuse if she don't wanna help, but get sulk if people do the same. Lying is just easy peasy to do. I see she's lying most of the time. She always give stupid remarks, but getting mad when people do. This one is always testing my patience.
She always want to get angry. People give this remark, get angry. People give that remark, get angry. Haa macam kau sorang je boleh marah. And I don't even want to talk to her if she gives me stupid and nonsense remark, I just ignore. Annoyed.
Also, she has this munafik side of her. Sometime she look like she's soft, sometime a religious girl, sometime a side of her very2 annoyed to see and I don't even know what to call that. Arrogant? Yeah arrogant it is. She have this side sometime she's so arrogant, even with her others sibling. Then, when she's with her friend she pretend to be easy going bitch. Sometime with me and mom she's a sullen.
Somehow this week I'm so tired to deal with her. Usually I just trying to obey and be patience but this week ain't it. Probably because I need to meet and deal with people like her also in my office. Someone who's got same birth year and immature behavior. Someone who doesn't act like her age. I realized that this week I'm not giving in to anyone. I just wanna care about me first. People will think that I'm selfish but I believe thinking about ourselves is not selfish. I'm tired to always care about people. I'm tired listen to people problem. I'm tired being nice. Being too nice is a toxic sometime.
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